While in college, I was staying in the dorms at the University of Louisiana. During my time there, my roommate signed up to apply for a Residence Advisor position. If you were selected, you received free room and food plus a monthly payment of $40. This was in the late ’80 but $40 was still nothing.
The best part was the free room and meal ticket. It saved you about $1500 – $2,000 per semester. I decided to sign up even though my parents were paying all of my bills. I thought I’d try and save them some money.
I went through the interview process with my roommate and we both ended up getting selected. The next semester I was stationed at Voorhies dorm, on the 5th floor.
I got along well with the other residents and no one ever gave me any problems except for this Freshman, Eric Tageson. He would play his electric guitar too loudly and I always had to go down and knock on his door so he would knock it off. I don’t know if he knew how to play or was just making noise.
Two other residents to make note of were James Shakesnider and his roommate Doug Meloncon. James was an art student and Doug was in ROTC.
Every year, the male dorms would go over to the female dorms one night. There, the girls would be hanging out of their windows looking down. The guys would be yelling things and the girls would drop their panties with their phone number on them to the crowd below.
The guys would catch the panties and return to their dorm, call the girls, starting up a friendship.
Another night, the girls would accumulate underneath the male dorms’ windows. The guys would toss down their underwear with the number on them. These two nights were a University of Louisiana tradition. Go Ragin’ Cajuns.
The point of this story is about James Shakesnider, the art student.
The girls were supposed to come over to our dorm this one night. I was walking the hall, making sure everyone was getting ready and excited for the evening to come.
As I get to James’ door, it’s locked and I hear several guys inside talking and laughing. I knock on the door and after a while, the door opens.
Inside were James, Doug, Eric Tageson and another guy, Conrad Lebleu. Conrad was notorious for getting into trouble. I knew something was up by the way they all stopped talking when I entered.
After much persuasion and about 30 minutes, finally James shows me what they’re up to.
He takes this roll of brown art paper and goes out into the hall. There, he unrolls this paper. As it is unrolling, I begin to see a very large dick, complete with veins. He didn’t unroll it the whole way because it was too long, but I got the point.
Then he says, I can’t do anything about it because I promised if he told me, I’d keep quiet about it. I was stuck.
I knew this was going to be a big deal. All of the Deans, male and female, were always present on the ground below during the panty raid and jock raid.
I went to my switch off Resident Advisor, Jagman Kuman. He also stayed on the 5th floor with me and he was the first assistant House Director.
I confided in Jag what was about to happen. Jag didn’t seem too worried about it and said to let them have their fun and deal with it later. I was still unsure and a bit nervous.
Later, when the girls arrive, they are all screaming up at the guys in the windows and the guys are screaming back.
I go into a room next door to James’ room and look outside. Just as I poke my head out of the window, I see big Doug Meloncon lean out of his window. He’s holding a broomstick and the spool of art paper is attached to it.
Just then, he lets go of the spool of paper and it starts to unfurl. There was a crackling noise and the paper ruffled when it went down and opened up.
The girls knew what it was instantly. They all ran over to the area underneath James’ window and were screaming louder, if that was possible.
As the dick unrolled, the girls were working themselves into a frenzy. They were jumping up and down, reaching up, waiting for the ‘Piece de Resistance’.
When the banner finally unfurled the entire way, there was a loud pop as the 40 foot dick was revealed in total, head and all.
I’ve never seen a group of girls lose their minds in ecstasy and I doubt I’ll ever see that scene again.
I pulled my head back into the room and went for a walk down the hall, the other way.
I heard what happened next.
One of the male Deans ran up 5 flights of stairs and was in James’ room before they could all scatter. He asked for all of their student ID’s. Conrad tried to say that he went to another university, but that didn’t work because the Dean knew of him.
Later that night, all of the residents from the 5th floor were gathered by the elevators. It was somber scene as the culprits all boarded the elevator to go to the Campus Police Station.
I’m standing there, looking on like everybody else when from the back of the elevator, Eric Tageson blurts out, “No Paul, you gotta go too. You knew about it!”
I could have kicked his Freshman ass for that. The little chicken shit wanted someone else in trouble because he was. The whole floor knew I was involved.
I told them to hold the elevator while I locked my door. When I came back to the elevators, they had already left.
I remember running at full sprint to get to the Police Station before I got into any more trouble because of Tageson.
When I arrive, they call all of us into this big office. The Dean is pissed, but none of us got expelled.
He made James use his art skills for a positive cause and had him make posters for all the schools groups. He made the rest of the guilty hang those posters all around the school.
When it was all over, I spoke up. I told the Dean that I knew about it beforehand. I was told to come by the Dean’s office the next day.
When we got outside, all of the guys, especially Tageson, were asking me why I did something so stupid.
Here’s why I did that. Tageson would have held that over my head the rest of his time there. And every time I told him to turn down his shitty music, he’d most likely tell me to fuck off or he’d tell on me for knowing about the 40 foot dick.
I’d rather lose my job than have it compromised by a little Freshman asshole.
The next day, I went to the Dean’s office. Here’s where I felt bad. I told the Dean that, yes, I knew of the dick beforehand but that I also confided in the first assistant House Director about it.
He didn’t do anything to me and said I could leave. Later I heard Jag got reprimanded but that was all.
In hindsight, I guess it’s better that I threw Jag under the bus because nothing happened to him, but they probably would have fired me.
So that’s the Legend of the 40 foot Dick.
Be safe and have a Chill Day,
Spider Michaels
Spider Michaels 