Thanksgiving comes, but once a year.
Within every Turkey, it strikes fear.
Some hunt Tom, but most buy him frozen.
With gloved hand, the Giblets are stuffed in.
Some do TurDucken, Chicken, Turkey, Duck.
When first heard of, I said “What the Pluck?!”.
All different ways to prepare, some deep fat fry.
Arteries clogging, they hasten their day to die.
We should all give thanks, on this holiday.
For our blessings, that we pray.
46 million turkeys are eaten this day.
50 million pumpkin pies the same way.
100,000 calls to the Butterball Hotline.
Everyone wants the best meal to dine.
George H.W. Bush pardoned the first turkey in 1989.
Been done ever since, straight in line.
The first Thanksgiving was a great meal.
They had lobster, deer, swan and seal.
It lasted for 3 days and they had a feast.
No one left hungry, in the least.
1621 is the year of the first Thanksgiving.
Now it’s how Turkey farmers make a living.
I shot my own Turkey once, it was such a great thrill.
Scared everyone in the frozen foods section, for they thought it was them I was there to kill.
Kicked out of the grocery store, didn’t even get my bird.
People still cussing me, with every dirty word.
Next time I think I’ll try hunting, on a Turkey Farm.
I don’t think, that would be any harm.
On this Thanksgiving, I’d like to wish you and yours,
A happy Turkey Day, just don’t try hunting in stores.