Happy New Year, it’s time to spread some cheer;
Don’t mind if you do, think you’ll have a beer.
Having one beer, leads to another;
Soon you’re drunk, Oh Brother.
Wake up the next day, looking for your pants;
Bites all over your ass, you passed out in ants.
Your friends are just as bad, passed out all over;
One got pissed on, by a dog named Rover.
You drank so much, you got sick;
Nobody mad, except for your chick.
Beer bongs, and lots of shots;
Early on, the nerve, you gots.
As time passes, your speech gets slurred;
Not even driving, because your vision’s blurred.
Downing champagne, like it’s going out of style;
Before this night, you hadn’t had a drink in awhile.
Drank too much, got in a fight;
Boy that shiner’s gonna, look bad in the light.
Pissed off your girlfriend, and made her leave;
All because when slow dancing, you began to heave.
Puked all over, her brand new dress;
Bouncers toss your ass out, you couldn’t care less.
When it’s time, for the Midnight kiss;
That’s something your girlfriend, wanted to miss.
Wake up in the morning, naked and alone;
There’s a buzzing in your ass, then you realize it’s your phone.
Someone took a Sharpie, and wrote on your face;
Got nowhere to be soon, except your workplace.
Full of regrets, but laughing all the way;
You can’t wait until, next New Year’s Day.
My New Year’s Resolution?
World Peace and no pollution;
As well as, a good Katzenjammer solution.
Reader’s note: Katzenjammer means hangover or headache from a hangover. I thought I’d save you the time to look it up. Happy New Year. 🙂