I received an invitation, to visit the Playboy Mansion;
Imagine my elation, it’s been my lifelong passion.
To see the women, is the time of your life;
Don’t expect, to make one your wife.
They all date actors, and football stars;
That have big mansions, and drive great cars.
Bunnies are beautiful, everyone wants to get;
Never in real life, but the pages they do let.
Great breasts, and sexy long legs;
Some would say, “Wow, she’s got good pegs”.
Their hair and make up, are always perfect;
No imperfection, can you detect.
A Playboy Bunny, takes off her clothes;
Piled by my bed, I wish were those.
Early on in life, did I see my first naked girl;
Man, did I want to, give that a whirl.
I love Marilyn Monroe, the first Magazine Cover;
Died too young, wish I had been her lover.
Hugh’s getting old, life’s little strains;
Com’n Hef, give me the reins.
I’d like to run Playboy, I’d be just like Hugh;
What goes on in the Grotto, you already knew.
I won’t get the job, but I can still daydream;
I’d be the best leader, or so it would seem.
Never marry a Playboy Bunny, have to stick with the magazine;
Just a way, to keep my motor clean.
A Bunny, is the perfect prescription;
Hey Hugh, how ’bout a free subscription?
I’ll have to live, without my Bunny;
Look out world, if I make any money.
What a regret, never got to Hef’s big house;
Invitation reneged, what a louse.
I really did get invited to the Playboy Mansion and was extremely excited to go to a party there. Then the guy who invited me wasn’t going anymore, so I lost out. What a total bummer.
It would have totally been like the kid in the candy store. I would have probably had a heart attack from system overload from seeing all of these sexy girls running around in their lingerie. It’s probably better I didn’t go.
Who am I kidding? I’d go in a second, you wouldn’t have to ask me twice, lol.