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I wrote a book… and it’s funny!

Posted by OfficialPaulMichaels on June 27, 2020

Posted in: AstroWorld, Cool Things, Entertainment, Houston, Life, McNeese State University, Partying, Sex, Six Flags, Special Events, Sports, Texas, Uncategorized, WaterWorld, Women. Leave a comment

Over the years, I’ve often thought about writing a few books about 2 of my careers and my adventures along the way.

Well, recently with Coronavirus and the shut down of America, I decided to pen a book about my adventures as a lifeguard at the first waterpark built in Houston, TX.

I had started the book a few years back so when I decided to finish it, I spent hours upon hours writing, editing, adding photos and rereading the book several times.

The book has some very funny stories in it that will make you Lol. Several of my lifeguard friends read it while I had it posted on my blog. Here are some quotes from them about the book.

“OMG…Outstanding F*%@in job on the WaterWorld Book! Wow…Just WOW! Talk about wonderful almost forgotten memories coming back! SPIDER you hit this one outside the park! Fyi If you haven’t ordered your WW book you really, REALLY SHOULD!” – Patrick Orlaska WaterWorld Guard

“I finished reading the lifeguard book written by Spider Michaels… if you haven’t read it… you need to. WaterWorld was my life for so long… I’d do it all over again!! The book is fantastic and I can’t wait to get my own signed copy.”
– Joni ‘Radar’ Waggoner
WaterWorld Supervisor

“Lots of great memories! Thanks for the laughs Spider, you truly are one of a kind!”
– Carrie Tefteller Benavidez
WaterWorld Guard

“While I was always a little intimidated by Spider, I admired his leadership (those other guards WORSHIPPED him – and the nicknames and his competitive spirit in lifeguard competitions, etc. made work fun). I mostly kept my distance from him (God forbid, I’d end up on the wrong end of one of his pranks), but I heard through the grapevine here and there about his antics – I could tell he was a pretty funny guy – and I loved the “jokester” in him. I realized now… having finished his book… that I didn’t know THE HALF of it! It was a good read.”
– Annie Godwin Bell
WaterWorld Guard

“This book is Vintage Gold. Brings back so many memories of the classic 80’s-90’s when the music was awesome and we all had few worries. Immerse yourself into our world of lifeguarding. You won’t be sorry!”
– Debbie Byars Leibham
WaterWorld Guard

Those are some pretty impressive quotes and I sincerely thank my friends for writing them.

When I was ready to order some copies from Amazon for my friends, I wanted to order a few extra for a Media Blitz, so initially I ordered 60 books. About 50 for my friends and 10 to send around to local radio station DJ’s.

After I posted this next photo, I had some more orders for the book. Now out of the 60, I have one left. I even had to get one back from my sister to send to someone. She’ll get the first one from my next order… signed.

Books 1

My lifeguard friends also requested that I sign each copy to them. Signing and packaging 59 books, each with a different note, takes quite a while. At one point, I had to take a break because my hand was cramping up. I could never do a book tour where all you do is sign copies of your book.

Here is a photo of the books, all signed and packaged for shipping.

Books 2

I went through an inventory of my life and I think I have about 4 more books in me. My first, “Lifeguarding at a Waterpark” will probably be my longest at 518 pages with 625 photos.

My 2nd book will probably be about my time working in auto racing. I spent about a decade working in NASCAR, IndyCar and the NHRA Drag Racing series. This book will be entitled… “My Motorsports Memoir: A Photo Essay.”

My 3rd book is about all of my travels all over the U.S. and Europe. I’ll call it “Spider’s Travels”, similar to Gulliver’s Travels.

My 4th book will be about the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. I spent the whole week of the rally one year and got some great photos and stories. The book will provide insight to those going to the rally and those wishing they could go to the rally. I expect the photos of the women will be the most popular chapter.

My 5th book will be a book of Poetry. I’ll have over 100 poems in this book that I’ve written over the years. They’ll cover Life, Love, Celebrities, Death, Heaven, the Afterlife and several more subjects.

Being able to Self Publish through Amazon has made it possible for anybody to write a book and get it into print. My 1st book, at 518 pages with color photos, cost $37.67 to print. With shipping, I think each book cost me $41.27.

Now that price is the Author’s cost. When a person orders my book off of Amazon, the cost goes up to $96.11. There’s a few bucks in that for me, but Amazon gets the Lion’s share. I will add that there’s a Beach Lifeguarding book for sale for about $140 on Amazon and it’s not nearly as long as my book with as many photos.

Any way you slice it, Amazon is the way to go to get your book in print. Otherwise, you have to seek out an Agent, which could take years, then this Agent has to find a Publishing House that believes in your book.

After spending years to finally get your book published, you only get about 12% from each sale of said book. And besides, book stores are closing down faster than you can say, “No business.” Everything is going Online now.

As I said earlier, I had started my book a few years ago so some of it was already written but when I picked it up again and finished it, it was only a few short months and I had a paperback edition in my hot little hands. You can do it too.

It’s been said that everybody has at least one good book in them. If you’ve ever dreamed of penning the next great American crime drama or your dream is to be the next J.K. Rowling well Amazon can be your ticket to getting in print. From there, who knows what could happen for you.

I have plans to send copies of my book to all of the local radios station drive time DJ’s in Houston as well as popular radio stations in L.A. and NYC.

I’m also sending copies to most of the Late Night Talk Show hosts. Hey, they may have a few minutes to laugh at my book and then who knows? Here are the letters.

Letters

I have to say, working nonstop on my 1st book has drained me. I’m going to take some time off before starting on any of my other books.

In closing, I wrote this post to motivate any of you to write your own books. If you have any questions, please contact me. I’ll be glad to help.

Lastly, anyone interested in reading my book, here is the link to purchase it from Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B087SFLPR5

As always, be safe and have a chill day.

Spider Michaels

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

Card FB Post 1

Expelled from College

Posted by OfficialPaulMichaels on May 1, 2020

Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

standard While in college, I was staying in the dorms at the University of Louisiana. During my time there, my roommate signed up to apply for a Residence Advisor position. If you were selected, you received free room and food plus a monthly payment of $40. This was in the late ’80 but $40 was still nothing.

The best part was the free room and meal ticket. It saved you about $1500 – $2,000 per semester. I decided to sign up even though my parents were paying all of my bills. I thought I’d try and save them some money.

I went through the interview process with my roommate and we both ended up getting selected. The next semester I was stationed at Voorhies dorm, on the 5th floor.

I got along well with the other residents and no one ever gave me any problems except for this Freshman, Eric Tageson. He would play his electric guitar too loudly and I always had to go down and knock on his door so he would knock it off. I don’t know if he knew how to play or was just making noise.

Two other residents to make note of were James Shakesnider and his roommate Doug Meloncon. James was an art student and Doug was in ROTC.

Every year, the male dorms would go over to the female dorms one night. There, the girls would be hanging out of their windows looking down. The guys would be yelling things and the girls would drop their panties with their phone number on them to the crowd below.

The guys would catch the panties and return to their dorm, call the girls, starting up a friendship.

Another night, the girls would accumulate underneath the male dorms’ windows. The guys would toss down their underwear with the number on them. These two nights were a University of Louisiana tradition. Go Ragin’ Cajuns.

The point of this story is about James Shakesnider, the art student.

The girls were supposed to come over to our dorm this one night. I was walking the hall, making sure everyone was getting ready and excited for the evening to come.

As I get to James’ door, it’s locked and I hear several guys inside talking and laughing. I knock on the door and after a while, the door opens.

Inside were James, Doug, Eric Tageson and another guy, Conrad Lebleu. Conrad was notorious for getting into trouble. I knew something was up by the way they all stopped talking when I entered.

After much persuasion and about 30 minutes, finally James shows me what they’re up to.

He takes this roll of brown art paper and goes out into the hall. There, he unrolls this paper. As it is unrolling, I begin to see a very large dick, complete with veins. He didn’t unroll it the whole way because it was too long, but I got the point.

Then he says, I can’t do anything about it because I promised if he told me, I’d keep quiet about it. I was stuck.

I knew this was going to be a big deal. All of the Deans, male and female, were always present on the ground below during the panty raid and jock raid.

I went to my switch off Resident Advisor, Jagman Kuman. He also stayed on the 5th floor with me and he was the first assistant House Director.

I confided in Jag what was about to happen. Jag didn’t seem too worried about it and said to let them have their fun and deal with it later. I was still unsure and a bit nervous.

Later, when the girls arrive, they are all screaming up at the guys in the windows and the guys are screaming back.

I go into a room next door to James’ room and look outside. Just as I poke my head out of the window, I see big Doug Meloncon lean out of his window. He’s holding a broomstick and the spool of art paper is attached to it.

Just then, he lets go of the spool of paper and it starts to unfurl. There was a crackling noise and the paper ruffled when it went down and opened up.

The girls knew what it was instantly. They all ran over to the area underneath James’ window and were screaming louder, if that was possible.

As the dick unrolled, the girls were working themselves into a frenzy. They were jumping up and down, reaching up, waiting for the ‘Piece de Resistance’.

When the banner finally unfurled the entire way, there was a loud pop as the 40 foot dick was revealed in total, head and all.

I’ve never seen a group of girls lose their minds in ecstasy and I doubt I’ll ever see that scene again.

I pulled my head back into the room and went for a walk down the hall, the other way.

I heard what happened next.

One of the male Deans ran up 5 flights of stairs and was in James’ room before they could all scatter. He asked for all of their student ID’s. Conrad tried to say that he went to another university, but that didn’t work because the Dean knew of him.

Later that night, all of the residents from the 5th floor were gathered by the elevators. It was somber scene as the culprits all boarded the elevator to go to the Campus Police Station.

I’m standing there, looking on like everybody else when from the back of the elevator, Eric Tageson blurts out, “No Paul, you gotta go too. You knew about it!”

I could have kicked his Freshman ass for that. The little chicken shit wanted someone else in trouble because he was. The whole floor knew I was involved.

I told them to hold the elevator while I locked my door. When I came back to the elevators, they had already left.

I remember running at full sprint to get to the Police Station before I got into any more trouble because of Tageson.

When I arrive, they call all of us into this big office. The Dean is pissed, but none of us got expelled.

He made James use his art skills for a positive cause and had him make posters for all the schools groups. He made the rest of the guilty hang those posters all around the school.

When it was all over, I spoke up. I told the Dean that I knew about it beforehand. I was told to come by the Dean’s office the next day.

When we got outside, all of the guys, especially Tageson, were asking me why I did something so stupid.

Here’s why I did that. Tageson would have held that over my head the rest of his time there. And every time I told him to turn down his shitty music, he’d most likely tell me to fuck off or he’d tell on me for knowing about the 40 foot dick.

I’d rather lose my job than have it compromised by a little Freshman asshole.

The next day, I went to the Dean’s office. Here’s where I felt bad. I told the Dean that, yes, I knew of the dick beforehand but that I also confided in the first assistant House Director about it.

He didn’t do anything to me and said I could leave. Later I heard Jag got reprimanded but that was all.

In hindsight, I guess it’s better that I threw Jag under the bus because nothing happened to him, but they probably would have fired me.

So that’s the Legend of the 40 foot Dick.

Be safe and have a Chill Day,

Spider Michaels

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Card FB Post 1

The company I worked for in motorsports was called RaceWorks and we were a MotorSports Marketing Agency.

Our company spent a lot of money on uniform shirts. These first photos show those shirts.

This was at an event in Houston.

Here too.

We’re in Florida for a race in this photo.

This one is from Phoenix.

We’re at the Brickyard 400 in Indy for this pic.

We were at a Truck Race when this picture was taken.

Outside the Pennzoil hauler.

Dallas for the Texas NASCAR Race.

zzzza

Phoenix again.

Indy for the 500.

With Bart Conner, Olympic Gold Medalist.

Karen and Kellie at the Indy 500.

Karen, Kellie, Moi’ and Tiffany.

Xiao Xiao and I at the Brickyard 400.

Kendra and I at the Brickyard 400.

Johnny and I at a Sport Compact Race in California.

Karen, Amanda and Moi’ at the Indy 500.

Here too.

These next few pix are from NYC.

Wendell and I at the NY Stock Exchange.

Kellie and I at the NY Stock Exchange.

When in NYC, I tried to make it to the Empire State Building when in town.

I’ve been to the top 2 or 3 times.

Times Square’s ‘The Naked Cowboy’.

16b

NYC Finest.

17a

21a

Near the ferry that takes you to the Statue of Liberty.

Times Square.

Central Park.

scan 3

Central park.

Scan 4

Central Park.

Scan 5

Handing out free Banners at the Indy 500.

" "

XIao Xiao getting busy.

" "

When flying, occasionally I flew in First Class. No better way to travel.

Pomona, California drag race.

Indy 500.

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Phoenix, Arizona.

022_22-804741834-O-X2

Pool party.

One of my first events.

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Houston Raceway Park.

040_40-804711853-O

On a nature trail in Upstate New York.

51a

After the drag races, I gave out free hats.

53-X3

With Kenny Tran in San Antonio, Texas.

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Shooting video with Kenny Tran.

291-9130_img-754458234-o

Daytona 500.

AOL & Z

Giving a Pit Tour.

bathroom 6

Mark Parrish and I at the Texas NASCAR Race.

i-2vwPwTc-X2

Karen, Kellie, David and John Barnes.

" "

Kendra and I.

" "

Karen and Kellie.

" "

Daytona 500.

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Doing a raffle at the Hospitality Tent.

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Daytona 500, Winston Vision Hauler.

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Signing trucks for fans.

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Mark and his big rig.

" "

Tricia putting on a barrel cover.

IM0_0325

Pomona, California.

Phoenix International Raceway.

Indy 500.

Dinner party.

Indy Museum.

indy-car-museum-1b

Horseback riding in the Pocono Mountains.

Shop talk.

p12

Marilyn and Elvis impersonators.

p21

Blues Brothers impersonators.

p22

Atop the Sprint Vision hauler.

photo(7)

One August, I went to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally instead of the Brickyard 400.

PM 113 EM-X2

While there, I visited Mt. Rushmore.

6 (1)

Tricia, Moi’ and Wendell.

PM 202

Handing out Raffle Prizes.

PM+10-740415772-O

Kellie and I.

PM+46-740427675-O

Miami driving school.

PM+188-740414300-O

Ronald McDonald.

Ronald McDonald

One of my first assignments – NHRA Drag Racing.

Scan 4

Crazy Indy 500 fan.

The Brickyard - Fan

While in Philly for a drag race, I visited the Liberty Bell.

Z & Li Be 3

Kendra and Xiao Xiao.

Fe and Me at a Sport Compact Race.

With Al Unser, Sr.

Tricia, Kellie, Johnny and Christy.

Kellie and I at the 500.

Kellie & Z @ Indy

Kellie and I at a NASCAR Race.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

At the Panther Racing shop.

With Bart Conner.

We’re in Memphis for this photo.

We enjoyed a lot of meals when we were out of town for a race.

This was in Miami.

Me, Debbie, Tricia, Kellie, Karen and Johnny.

Plus Wendell.

Here we are at St. Elmo’s Fire in Indy for the 500.

David, Debbie and myself.

Me and Park Miller.

Johnny and I in Florida.

Crazy race fan.

Indy 500.

236-3606_IMG

Taking a carriage ride in Memphis.

At the Texas NASCAR Race.

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I’m at the Houston NHRA Event with Jeannie.

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Tending bar at a race.

00224

Going on a Pit Tour during a Truck Race.

00246

Wendell, Myself and Kellie in New York for the Awards Banquet.

00258

We raced Go Karts in almost every town we traveled to.

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Johnny seemed to win a lot.

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Here we are at an Indy Karting track.

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Kellie, Wendell and myself at the Awards Banquet in NYC.

00278

Karen and Moi’ in the Texas suite.

02245

We had our Xmas party, then went to see the Nutcracker.

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Indy 500.

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Phoenix International Raceway.

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Karen and I atop the Winston Vision hauler.

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Indy 500.

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At a party at Panther Racing.

g3g74788

Giving a Pit Tour.

i-V2gmc9T-X3

With Jennifer at the Daytona 500.

Jennifer @ Daytona 500 8x10

When I would travel, I tried to rent a convertible.

That’s a lot of luggage.

Debbie and I at the campgrounds in Indy for the 500.

I also promoted ContraGear, while handing out free banners to the fans.

On a Pit Tour at the Brickyard 400.

p13

Karen and the Big Wigs.

PA16751062223-XL

Karen and Tiffany.

PA16751090253-XL

Kenny Bernstein and Karen.

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I was in the centerfold photo for ESPN, the Magazine.

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While working in the NHRA Sport Compact drag racing series, they asked me to run the Bikini Contests. What could I say?

The following photos are from some of those Bikini Contests.

"Toshiba Digital Camera"

Denver, Colorado.

"Toshiba Digital Camera"

Toshiba Digital Camera

Fontana, California.

Oregon.

New Jersey.

With Duane Sweeney, the Official Flag Man for the Indy 500.

PM 154

Here’s his autograph card. They don’t stand on the track any longer to do this.

Duane Sweeney

The Flyin’ Elvi. Elvi is plural for Elvis.

PM 200

Johnny, Kellie, Moi’, Wendell and Tricia.

PM 211

Me and Fe at an NHRA Event in Houston.

PM+22-740424892-O

Tiffany and I at the Daytona 500.

PM+30-740426127-O

Indy 500.

PM+32-740426339-O

Phoenix International Raceway.

PM+48-740427826-O

With a crazy race fan at the Indy 500.

PM+52-740428057-O

Al Unser, Sr. gave me a ride around the Indy track to show me the racing lines.

PM+64-740429680-O

Signing the Start/Finish Line.

PM+66-740430024-O

I did this a lot with my Pit Tours.

PM+67-740430091-O

And it never got old.

PM+68-740430159-O

Rupert from the TV show, Survivor.

PM+69-740430207-O

Ben Affleck at the Daytona 500.

i-6tMQGHN-X2

One of my favorite actors, James Garner, was a guest of ours at a race in Phoenix.

James Garner - Jim Rockford

My favorite James Garner movie is The Great Escape.

James Garner - The Great Escape

I also loved the Rockford Files.

James Garner - Polaroid

Paul Newman was heavily involved in racing.

Paul Newman - Cool Hand Luke

With Patrick Dempsey at the Indy 500.

Patrickdempsey8x10

Muhammad Ali loved the camera.

Jim Nabors aka Gomer Pyle at the Indy 500.

Jason Priestly.

Bart Conner.

PM+163-740422931-O

Bart Conner, Karen and myself.

g3g74598

Bart, his wife, Nadia Comaneci and myself at Panther Racing.

Indy VIP's 1

Tommy Lee from Motley Crue.

PM+118-740415567-O

I asked Ice Tea for a photo, then he posed like he was constipated. If that’s how he poses for photos I would have passed on him. I included it to show what an ass he is.

PA16751062707-XL

John Walsh, from America’s Most Wanted fame.

PM+120-740417584-O

Jim Harbaugh.

Scan 7

Junior Seau and Jim Harbaugh.

PM+116-740415432-O

Karen and I in Vegas.

020_20-804714748-O

Kellie, Tricia, Wendell and myself.

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Mark Parrish and I.

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At Daytona for the 500.

038_38

Indy 500.

Panther Racing party.

g3g74816

Jeff and Karen working on a commercial.

JG 6

Kellie and the pilots.

Kellie - Pilots

Kellie n NYC.

Kellie Hollywood

In Miami for a driving school.

Miami 2001 - Z Winner

Partying in Miami.

Miami, Paris Chix & Too Much Vodka

Awards Banquet in NYC.

p16

Johnny Montrose.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

In Miami for the final race of the season.

Scan 2 (1)

After Go Karting.

Scan 3

In Hollywood.

Scan 4

Jerry and I at the Houston NHRA Event.

Scan 5

Wendell, Johnny, Kellie and I.

Scan0018aaa

Indy 500.

PM+70-740430393-O

We always had a blast on Halloween.

Braveheart and Kendra.

Johnny, Wendell, Kellie and myself.

I met these guys in a bar in Phoenix and had a blast with them.

Should have gotten arrested, lol.

With the FireHawk at the Indy 500.

Every time I saw Linda Vaughn, a famous model from back in the day, I always got a photo with her.

" "

p14

At the NHRA Awards Banquet in California.

PM+99-740432561-O

Sin City, Vegas, baby.

PM+119-740417171-O

Myself, Fe and Richard Brady.

PM+124-740417784-O

Tiffany and I at Phoenix International Raceway.

PM+128-740414404-O

Kellie and I taking a break.

PM+129-740414493-O

Mr. Clean.

Mr. Clean Autograph

PM+132-740416793-O

Indy 500.

PM+133-740416894-O2

John Sirois, Kellie and myself after our very first event.

PM+157-740422267-O

I always had time for the models.

PM+161-740422651-O

PM+162-740422786-O

Harrah's Models

Gotta get those digits, lol.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The Indy 500 trophy.

PM+165-740423231-O

PM+164-740423084-O

134-3464_IMG-750112870-O

PM+166-740423893-O-XL

NHRA Drag Race.

PM+171-740415821-O

Mark Parrish and I.

PM+197-740414373-O

Fe and I at a Sport Compact Event in Colorado.

PM+207-740420881-O

Indy 500.

Z & Crash Gladys

Now for some Victory Lane, Winner’s Circle photos.

Kortnie and I at a Sport Compact Event in New Jersey.

Kortnie and Spider

Karen and I at the Indy 500.

Z & Si8x10

I hope you enjoyed seeing these pix. Racing was a great career for all of us.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

One racing season, Quaker State wanted to have a Dyno-Challenge at the races.

We hired a crew from Dallas to drive all over the country with their Dynamometer to measure the cars horsepower.

At the end of each race weekend, we gave out oil for prizes to the winners of each category.

We had a “Standings’ board so they’d know who was in the lead.

It always drew a good crowd.

Dyno 1

The racers loved knowing what their horsepower was.

We even had models working with us.

Kortnie was the prettiest model on the entire circuit.

The race fans loved getting her autograph cards.

She would sign autographs and pose for photos.

Here she is with our booth.

And with a hot motorcycle.

She was always more attractive than the bikini girls… and taller.

Our models would pose with the Dyno-Challenge winners.

The racers loved that.

It was an easy gig for me. Hang out with models all day and then photograph winners.

Here’s Kortnie with a commentator, Steve.

With an NHRA Vice President at the annual awards ceremony. They asked her to be the Trophy Girl for the awards after they saw her in that dress.

I bought it for her on Hollywood Boulevard the day before.

We had fun after the awards.

Kortnie was always a knockout.

p16

We had a lot of fun together.

Kortnie and I in New Jersey.

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Urban Racer took some good pics of her.

0279

You see, prettier than all the rest.

webupdate

This HPD Officer loved getting a pic with Kort.

HDP 1

While we were in NYC, Gilbert Gottfried couldn’t keep his eyes off of her chest.

KCGG1

People began photographing Kort like it was a photoshoot.

KCGG2

The best pic of Kort and I.

Kortnie and Spider

It was fun traveling the country with the Dyno crew and Quaker State racer Kenny Tran.

Kenny Tran was the first racer to put my logo on his car.

We also ran a booth at the World of Outlaws series.

We’d pick a winner and give them VIP seats.

That completes this NHRA 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

Being an invited guest to a suite to watch a race is a great experience. Sometimes, there’s even a bus ride to the race included.

The following photos are of a few of the suites I worked while in Motorsports. This first one is from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. We used this suite for the Indy 500 and the Brickyard 400.

i-rx3F3q7-X2

The bus would pick up the guests at their hotel and bring them to the race with a police escort to beat traffic. If you’ve ever been to a race like this before, then you know it’s the only way to go besides a helicopter.

i-F8CR7QK-X2

We’d have breakfast ready when the guests arrived. There would be the morning’s paper and the TV would be on racing programming.

i-JtjnVW4-X2

We changed drivers every so often, so we had to redecorate the suites also.

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The guests would have breakfast and something to drink, then get ready to start their day at the races.

I would take those that wanted to go, on a Garage and Pit Tour. They’d learn a lot and get some great photos.

After the tours were over, it would be getting close to lunch time. Sometimes we had guests that ate a liquid lunch because all of the beer and cocktails were free from the bartender.

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Here I am with our Driver, Greg Biffle, as he speaks to the guests.

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Our bartender Paula, Karen and Kellie in our Indy suite.

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Our staff was one of the nicest.

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Paula, Karen and Kellie.

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Paula, Moi’ and Kellie.

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Karen, having a good time in the suite with the guests.

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I liked getting to the track very early. Most times I’d be there to hear the cannon go off to signal the start of race day.

Here’s our view from the suite.

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Quite a bit of difference when you add hundreds of thousands of people.

It’s a tranquil feeling early in the morning, mixed with excitement for what was about to unfold this day. History will be made.

Being on the front stretch was always great. The driver’s call this canyon of fans “The Million Dollar View’. I drove this track in a NASCAR race car, so I know what it feels like to drive it, but nothing like what a real race car driver sees with all of the fans present.

This next pic is from the Brickyard 400.

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Now I’ll show you the suite at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

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Not as nice as Indy, but still great accommodations to watch a race.

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Each guest also received a ‘Goodie Bag’ with things they could use throughout the day, i.e. a hat, a Koozie, a shirt, autograph cards, ear plugs if the suite had an outside observation deck, like Indy.

The breakfast, lunch and free beer and cocktails still applies, as well as the bus ride to the track from the hotel.

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On hot days, it’s nice to watch a race from inside the air conditioning.

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The item most used by our guests was the koozie. They always drank a lot of beer.

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The TV’s allowed our guests to see the replays and hear the commentators call the race.

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We had nice furniture to relax on.

And lunch was always hot and good.

During the Caution Flags, we’d hold a Raffle for Prizes to keep the guests entertained. A lot of times, I’d be the one to buy the Raffle Prizes and I always bought nice things… things that I’d like to win if I were a guest.

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Atlanta had a little outside room next to the suite for smoking. That’s the view below.

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This photo shows the disparity between the people in the air conditioned suite and those camping in the hot Infield.

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Now we’ll take a look at Bristol Motor Speedway. Bristol is nicknamed ‘Thunder Valley’.

It’s like a bowl of thousands of people and loud ass race cars. The noise is deafening.

Here’s the campground nearby.

This view is from a photo I took at Phoenix International Raceway from our suite.

Here is the view from our Daytona suite.

It was a great place to see the Pre-Race festivities from.

I miss Daytona.

Kortnie and I in our suite at the Houston Raceway Park drag strip. I hope you enjoyed this brief look at a day in the suites.

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That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

February 22, 1959 – The first Daytona 500 is held and Lee Petty defeats Johnny Beauchamp.

Most Victories: (7) Richard Petty (1964, 66, 71, 73, 74, 79, 81)

Most Consecutive Victories: (2) Richard Petty (1973-74); Cale Yarborough (1983-84); Sterling Marlin (1994-95); Denny Hamlin (2019-20)

Most Times Completing All 500 Miles: (16) Bill Elliott

Most Miles Completed: (14,892.5 miles; 5,957 laps) Terry Labonte

Driver Leading the Fewest Laps and Winning: (1) Kurt Busch (2017)

Youngest Winner: 20 years, 0 months, 1 day, Trevor Bayne (2011)

Oldest Winner: 50 years, 2 months, 11 days, Bobby Allison (1988)

Here is the Dale Earnhardt Memorial at Daytona International Speedway.

I tried to go by and photograph it every time I was there.

Dale died in a crash at the 2001 Daytona 500.

Big Bill France, the father of NASCAR, and his wife, Anne.

Here are 3 photos from 2 different years.

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I witnessed a truck with a trailer get stuck in this tunnel.

Millions of fans wish they had access to the Infield through this tunnel.

The inside.

You always see the Blimp for a Daytona 500.

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Cool Pace Car.

The cars on Pit Road.

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Pre-Race festivities are always eye catching.

Ben Affleck started the race one year.

Right after 9/11, the security was beefed up.

Observers and snipers were on the buildings.

Pit Road gets extremely crowded.

Sometimes, it’s hard to move.

Imagine trying to work in this environment.

Before the race, drivers have time to chat.

Dale Jr. and Michael Waltrip.

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Daytona International Speedway is 2.5 miles long.

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A 500 mile race is 200 laps.

Daytona always has a crash called ‘The Big One’.

Daytona crash

I met Jennifer on Pit Road, during the race.

Had to get a pic with her. She was a nice gal.

Victory Lane

Darrell Waltrip had good luck with the number 17 during his victory. He won on Feb. 17 in his No. 17 car during his 17th career attempt.

Spider Michaels, Bill Goldberg & Jeff Gordon. I hope you enjoyed reading this post.

That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

The following photos are of the big rigs used in NASCAR.

The first one is from when Nextel was the Primary Sponsor of the series. It’s the Registration hauler.

One time, we were so hungover and smelled of alcohol that they almost didn’t give us our credentials.

And here’s a Registration hauler when Sprint was the sponsor.

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My friend drove the Sprint Vision rig all across the country from race to race. Shout out to Mark Parrish.

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Next, we see the NASCAR Officials haulers. A driver never wants to get called into one of these haulers.

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These haulers can cover as many as 70,000 miles a year.

This is a shot from Phoenix International Raceway. Notice the hill in the background. I took a golf cart up it for the view. It’s a bumpy ride, but the view is worth it. Phoenix Hill Views

When the haulers first arrive, they begin to unload.

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Those silver rear doors, on the ground, are what is used to remove the race cars from the haulers.

This is a photo from a suite at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

The rigs are parked according to the driver’s standings in the points.

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This is a rare shot. Steve Park, Dale Jr. and Dale Sr.

Here are the silver doors in action.

Teams bring 2 cars to every race. A Primary and a Back Up.

Phoenix again.

Here’s a better view of the rear doors.

During practice, the teams monitor things from atop the haulers.

This is a pic before their set up is complete. Look in the reflection to see me taking the pic.

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A photo of the inside of a hauler. I see the Dale Earnhardt logo in the back.

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Crews arriving for work.

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Dale Jr. was always a popular driver, now he’s a popular TV Analyst.

One of the best rear doors.

Now I’ll show you some Autograph card holders that are located by the haulers for people in the Garage Area to pick up cards from.

This is a cool one.

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Good branding.

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Good logos.

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Appropriate.

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Jeff had one of the best ones.

“Because we know a thing or two about NASCAR.”

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Nicely themed.

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I prefer it when the cards are positioned correctly, instead of sideways.

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Fans love Autograph Cards. I hope you enjoyed this post.

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That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

Many companies are involved with NASCAR. This post is about entertaining those companies guests while at the race.

Here is a NASCAR hospitality tent before we would put up the Banners, etc.

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And just a short time later.

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Again, a before shot.

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And the after pic.

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We would leave our hotel as early as 4am sometimes just to make the drive to the track and decorate.

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Pennzoil / Quaker State, the companies I worked with, sponsored several drivers during my time in NASCAR.

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On Race Day, our driver would make an appearance in the Hospitality Tent to speak about the race and answer questions.

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Here’s Mark Martin.

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This is our ‘Check In’ table.

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Xiao Xiao and Christy.

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Kellie and Christy.

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Guests would sign up for my Pit & Garage Tours here.

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A menu board told the guests what was for lunch.

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At every NASCAR race, we hired a local florist to design our table centerpieces. Here are some of those.

We brought the black, red and checkered napkins. We had them dry cleaned and pressed every week.

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Our guests loved the way our tents looked.

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We had the chair backs custom made.

Race fans loved the Pennant Rope also and would ask for it.

We bought helium at every race to inflate the balloons. So making a trip to Party City was mandatory.

I think you’d be surprised at how fast we could transform a regular, white hospitality tent into a great party atmosphere for our guests.

A lot of Hospitality Tents had ‘Show Cars’ in front. We always did.

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Here’s another NASCAR driver that came by the morning of the race and talked to our guests about the upcoming race, then he signed autographs.

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I know I would have enjoyed myself, had I ever been invited to a NASCAR hospitality tent before I got into racing.

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After getting up around 3:30am on race day, Bannering, setting up the tent, conducting several Pit & Garage Tours, I would help out with a raffle for prizes.

Before each NASCAR race, I would go shopping for cool gifts to give away during the raffle. I always purchased things I knew they would love to win.

We spent a lot of money on raffle prizes. There was no expense spared when it came to entertaining important guests, all in an effort to ensure they had a great time on their day at the races.

I wore so many hats in racing, and it all started by somebody saying to me, “Hey, go hang that Banner.”

I think I preferred NASCAR out of all the racing series’ I worked in. The days were long and tiring, but the reward was so very worth it.

The night before the race, we had ‘Turn Down’ service for our guests. It was a race package of gifts and info about the big race the next day.

It helped to remind the guests what time the bus was leaving, so they wouldn’t miss it.

They always loved the gifts.

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Relaxing after a long day. I hope you enjoyed this look at Hospitality Marketing.

That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

Texas Motor Speedway is a speedway located in the northernmost portion of Fort Worth, Texas… the portion located in Denton County, Texas.

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I was working at the Inaugural Race at TMS. It took us 3 hours to get off of track property because of the rain and traffic. What a day.

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When you first arrive at Texas Motor Speedway, you usually go to the credentials office to pick up your pass for the race.

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A friend I used to work with in motorsports always got me a ‘Hot Pass’ for the Garage and Pit Area. It’s the best way to go to a race.

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The track and parking sit on 1,500 acres.

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There’s a North and a South Tunnel to get to the Infield.

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Here’s what it looks like coming out of the South Tunnel.

This is a Before Shot.

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And here is a little later on.

This is during the race.

Sometimes I got rides in the Pace Car prior to Race Day.

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The Blimp usually makes an appearance on Race Day.

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The Garage Area is the Holy Grail, so to speak, for a lot of people.

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The Texas Garage is 22,272 square feet large.

Texas Motor Speedway has 1,656 women’s restrooms and 843 men’s rooms.

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Thousands of people go through the Garage Area over the course of a Race Weekend.

Here is a rarely seen shot of the inside row of the Garage Area.

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A ‘Hot Pass’ allows you into this area also.

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While the cars are practicing or racing, the garage is a ghost town.

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This is a line of people on the fence without a Garage Pass. Millions want to get into the Garage Area and Pit Road during a race.

TMS has 24 Concession buildings and 23 Souvenir buildings.

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The reconfigured track measures 1.44 miles with banked 20° in turns 1 and 2 and banked 24° in turns 3 and 4.

Here’s a robo-dinosaur they had to entertain the race fans prior to the race.

It demolished a car.

An interesting sight.

The Texas Infield has some of the craziest fans in NASCAR. See my post about it to see what I mean. Texas Motor Speedway Infield

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I love seeing fans dress up for the race.

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I always try to get a pic with the Pace Car, if I can.

I worked with Jeff Gordon’s team through Quaker State.

I even received a championship ring from Hendrick Motorsports. My Ring Collection

I’m always nice to the Gate Attendants. You never know when you might need their help.

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My last photo is of me with Miss NASCAR.

That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

A big part of NASCAR is merchandising. The following photos are of some vintage merchandise haulers.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. always won the Most Popular Driver and his sales were enormous.

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Jeff Gordon is another driver that was very popular during his driving career. Now, he and Dale Jr. are NASCAR commentators for television. And still very popular with the fans.

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Merchandising haulers travel tens of thousands of miles every year attending every race of the season.

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Budweiser never had it so good as when Dale Jr. was driving for them.

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Here’s a shot of the haulers before they opened and before the crowds.

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The average salary for a NASCAR truck driver is $38,717 per year.

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That’s not a huge salary considering how important they are to the team, the driver and the sponsors.

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Dale Earnhardt Sr. had an estimated net worth of $70 million at the time of his death at the Daytona 500 in 2001. Merchandising helped that a lot.

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Dale Jr. has an estimated net worth of $300 million. Not bad for signing thousands of his race cars for fans, among other things.

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Jeff Gordon’s net worth is estimated to be $200 million.

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Dale Jr. ended his career driving for Hendrick Motorsports. Not as flashy as the Budweiser haulers.

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In this photo on his hauler, Dale Jr. is signing some of those race cars I just spoke of.

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NASCAR was invented February 21, 1948, Daytona Beach, FL.

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A good shot of people enjoying spending money on NASCAR items.

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Dale Jr.’s first name is Ralph and his nickname is Lil’ E. (For Earnhardt).

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The only track Gordon didn’t win at during his career is Kentucky Speedway.

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Dale Jr. only read a half of the book written about him. He says that since he already lived all the experiences, the interest level was just not there for him to continue the book. He still thinks the author did a good job, though.

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Here’s a shot of Gordon’s hauler before the fans get there. Good pix.

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Dale Jr. changed oil at his famous father’s Chevy dealership for two years before he started racing.

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One of the best things about a NASCAR race is getting there early and going shopping for cool NASCAR stuff.

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Here’s a photo of the Event Pins I have from some of the races I attended and worked.

I collected some of the cars I worked with during my time in NASCAR.

That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

This Blog Post is about the men and some women on the Pit Crews of NASCAR. This first photo is of the fans looking into the garage area at a race.

Millions of fans would love to have access to the garage and pit road areas. This post shows you what goes on in these two places.

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Here we see the crews going to work in the morning.

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It’s quite a scene to see all of these guys at once.

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This is Pit Road at the Daytona 500. It’s quite a crowded area to try to work in.

I’ll refer to these crowded Pit Roads later on in this post.

The tires are oh so important in trying to win a race.

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GoodYear provides the tires for the teams.

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Prior to the race, the teams will prep the tires for the big event.

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They clean the rims real well, then glue the lug nuts to the rims for speed reasons.

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The tires have a tread thickness of only 1/8 of an inch.

" " The tires on a NASCAR car weigh 50 pounds each, and someone has to push them and carry them to the pits for all the changes.

The people who are changing these tires are chucking around these tires like they weigh nothing, and that is because the men who work on pits crews are in very good physical condition.

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The tires can cost as much as $450, or $1,800 for a set of 4.

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This blue signifies Richard Petty’s team, also the number 43.

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Notice the small piece of yellow tape, not the long strip of yellow. I’ll talk about that later on.

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The Pit Crews all line up for the National Anthem before the race.

I’m betting you’ll never see a NASCAR Pit Crew member taking a knee during the Anthem.

They’d probably be fired the next day.

NASCAR has too much Patriotism for anyone to decide to take a knee in protest of anything.

I think it looks cool to see them all lined up, showing respect for our country and its’ history.

Even the NASCAR crews line up.

I took this photo from the suite we had at the Phoenix International Raceway. It’s one of my favorite pics I ever took at a race.

Pit Crew members have to be in great shape to be on a team.

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You’ll see them stretching and preparing before a race. Notice the silver trays taped down with red tape. I’ll discuss later in this post.

Conditioning is of the utmost importance for a Pit Crew Member.

In this photo, the 4 trays are yellow.

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And people say these guys aren’t athletes, boo to them.

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When I started out in Motorsports, the Pit Crews weren’t required to wear helmets.

Now every member of the Pit Crew going ‘Over the Wall’ must wear one.

A spinning tire on a race car could roll over some loose lug nuts on the road and launch them as a projectile. Helmets are valuable pieces of equipment.

Notice the radio receiver on the side of his helmet.

Now let’s talk a little about the fuel. Here are 2 Pit Crew members taking fuel cans for refill.

Now you can see how hard this would be with a very crowded Pit Road.

The specialized NASCAR fuel is Sunoco Green E15, a 98 octane, unleaded fuel blend specifically engineered for high-performance engines and race cars.

It’s called Green E15 because the racing fuel is actually green in color.

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At race speeds, Cup Series cars get 2 to 5 miles per gallon.

After Pit Stops, there’s always a line at the Fuel Station.

Only a few years ago, NASCAR used leaded fuel in the cars that circled the racetrack each weekend.

However, in 2011 the sport made a significant change to the fuel used in its race cars, moving away from leaded fuel and turning to a greener, higher-performance option.

A NASCAR race car has a fuel cell in the trunk that holds 22 gallons of fuel, but that may change to 18 gallons in the near future.

Each Gas Can holds 11 gallons of fuel, so it takes 2 cans to fill up a race car.

Here’s a close up of the label on a Gas Can.

Now I’ll focus more on the tires. There’s 2 types of tires in a NASCAR race… Stickers and Scuffs.

These tires are Stickers because you can still see the new, white sticker on the tire.

This is a pic of the inner liner in every tire.

These tires are called Scuffs because the team drove them around the track during practice to break them in, so if the need called for a set of tires that were broken in, they’d have some.

These tire carriers are valuable in that they enable crew members to carry a set of 4 tires at one time.

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I’ve almost been run over by one of these on Pit Road during a race.

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Here are sets of Stickers and Scuffs. Notice the yellow tape.

This is a pic of the lug nuts already glued into place so the tire changer can tighten them up on the car quicker.

Now for the tape on the tire. The carriers use this tape to know where to grab the wheel in order to hang it correctly on the studs.

The good tire carriers can pick a tire up and hang it on the studs without having to spin it to line the holes up correctly. These tape marks help them find the right way to hold the tire to do so.

These are the trays or racks you saw earlier.

Do you have any idea what they’re for?

Spider Michaels

Just some dude.

Uncategorized

I wrote a book… and it’s funny!

Expelled from College

NASCAR 101: RaceWorks

NHRA 101: Dyno-Challenge

NASCAR 101: The Suites

NASCAR 101: Daytona 500

NASCAR 101: Team Haulers

NASCAR 101: Hospitality Marketing

NASCAR 101: Texas Motor Speedway

NASCAR 101: Merchandising Haulers

NASCAR 101: Pit Crews

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