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NASCAR 101: A NASCAR Poem

Posted by Spider Michaels on March 21, 2020

Posted in: Cool Things, Life, Poetry, Special Events, Sports, Travel. Tagged: Auto Racing, Brickyard 400, Daytona 500, Indy 500, NASCAR, Racing. 1 Comment

NASCAR is a huge sport, one of the biggest around;

Seeing the race crowd, will astound.

The fans are rabid, for their favorite driver;

More popular than, a finals of Survivor.

Drivers sign autographs, by the droves;

Fans follow, wherever he roves.

Gordon’s got four championships, but Jimmie’s got seven;

If he gets to eight, he’ll be in heaven.

Earnhardt Sr. was the toughest, people always say;

I wish, he was here today.

Many drivers are rich, and claim a lot of fame;

Everybody knows Jeff Gordon, by his name.

There is no doubt, NASCAR is big in the South;

Smack talk a driver’s fan, get punched in the mouth.

Companies spend millions, to sponsor a car;

Sometimes, it doesn’t get far.

When interviewed, drivers say their sponsor’s name;

Driving for Extenze or Viagra, would be really lame.

Been to many races, seen all the big tracks;

Race fans wear all the logos, on their fronts and backs.

All around, Indy, Daytona and Charlotte;

A pit lizard, is a harlot.

Girls throw themselves at drivers, at every race;

Some sign on titties, and every other place.

Motorsports is good, for the economy;

We all drive, it’s our autonomy.

Go to a race, and yourself you’ll see;

It’s exciting, it’s not just me.

Fast as hell, they drive;

Some don’t make it, out alive.

Risk their lives, for our entertainment;

What a dangerous, arrangement.

NASCAR is great, and the drivers are fearless;

When it comes to driving, they’re peerless.

Get an autograph, and buy a hat;

Your friends will say, where’d you get that?

I love racing, it is the best;

Man and engine, a great test.

I’d like to be a racer, and drive really fast;

I’d probably end up, in a body cast.

You know you like it, you drive fast too;

Maybe you’re a fan, and just never knew.

Go to a race, it’ll change your mind;

You’ll become hooked, on speed of any kind.

I could go on, for many a part;

Gotta end, the race is about to start.

Spider Michaels

That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

There are many people that have great ring collections. I don’t think mine is any better than most, but I happen to own some very special rings.

I’ve earned rings throughout my life and I’ve only lost one, my High School ring, and I will get that one replaced one day.

Below are some pictures with stories about my rings. I hope you enjoy it.

First up is my college ring. I graduated from McNeese State University in 1988. McNeese is in Lake Charles, LA. I grew up nearby.

It took me 4 and a half years to graduate because I bounced around between schools. I started out at McNeese, then transferred to the University of Louisiana. From there, I took some classes at Houston Community College so I could continue working at the waterpark I was working at year round. After all of that, I transferred back to McNeese and graduated.

After graduation from McNeese, I went to the University of Houston for Post – Baccalaureate work.

I enjoyed college and had some very fun times. I remember drinking lots of coffee and staying up all night to finish a project or cram for a test.

I made lots of friends in college and I often wonder what they’re up to. Maybe one day I’ll track them down and surprise them.

When I wear my college ring, I wear it with pride because I know how hard it is for some to afford college, or even make the grades to get into one. Hell, I got into four, lol.

I like my college ring because it reminds me of my friends from school, the good times and the hard work I put in to earn it.

This ring will always be very special to me.

I graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Education, in 1988.

My next ring I earned while working at a waterpark called WaterWorld in Houston, TX.

I was on a lifeguard team that won 10 straight State Championships. We were awesome.

This is another ring that reminds me of good times and old friends. When we had our moment in the sun, we were the best and we reveled in it.

Not many can say that they were a champion lifeguard when they were in their youth.

I got my nickname, Spider, at the waterpark and we were called S.T.O.R.M. (Strong Team of Rescue Men).

After lifeguarding for over a decade, I went to work in motorsports.

It was my job to travel all over the U.S. and attend these big auto races and do marketing for really big companies.

I got to work hand in hand with the race teams and I got to know and like them all quite a lot.

I was with Sam Hornish, Jr.’s team, Panther Racing & Pennzoil, when he won his two IndyCar Championships. That’s how I received this next ring.

Working in the IndyCar series, I attended the Indy 500 every year and that was a blast.

I came close to being eligible for a team ring for the Indy 500.

Sam never won the Indy 500 while I was working with him, but after he changed teams he won The Great American Race, the Indy 500.

I like my IndyCar Championship ring. It reminds me of all the fun I had at the Indy 500 each year.

I have lots of photos and videos to remember those days, but my ring is most special to me.

Indy Ring

I enjoyed my time with Panther Racing and the IndyCar League.

While working in motorsports, I also worked in NASCAR as well as IndyCar. I also worked in the NHRA too.

When I was working in NASCAR, I got to work with Jeff Gordon’s team doing Marketing work and entertaining their VIP guests.

I would take the VIP’s down into the Pit Area and Garage before the races and teach them all about NASCAR and racing.

What I taught them in about 30 to 45 minutes improved the quality of their race viewing that day because they understood better what was going on.

I traveled to many tracks across America to earn this ring and I’m probably most proud of it.

Jeff Gordon is a four time champion and I worked with his team for all four championships.

They say that there’s about 75 million NASCAR fans. I bet some would give their right arm to have had the chance to earn a ring like I did.

I’m one of the few people living that has earned a ring in the IndyCar Series and also NASCAR. Pretty rare, I have to say.

24 Ring

My Jeff Gordon Championship ring might be my favorite.

Here’s another ring from my NASCAR days. It’s from one of the bigger races in the season.

It’s from the Brickyard 400, which is run on the Indianapolis Motor Speedway track.

So I got a ring from Indy after all, lol.

Brick Ring

My Brickyard ring is pretty cool and I like it a lot.

I started out my career in Motorsports working in the NHRA (Natl. Hot Rod Assoc.). I’m happy to have a ring to remind me of all the good times and good friends I made in those days.

My first job in Motorsports was that of a Banner Boy. I loved it and would do it again.

In 1987, I got certified as a SCUBA Diver.

I went on several dives and loved diving.

I went down in the Bahamas, in the Florida Keys and some places in Texas.

I had this ring made for me specially because the Dive Organization doesn’t sell them.

One day, I’ll get them to use my design and sell it to other divers. I know other divers would love a dive ring once they got certified.

This first ring was just a test and it came out pretty good, although I don’t wear silver. 113 was my radio number at the waterpark. And PADI stands for Professional Assoc. of Diving Instructors.

Well, I contacted PADI and Jostens Rings to come up with this Dive Ring. I’m still working on getting it to all divers.

Jostens gave me the first ring off the production line for free.

This ring is much nicer. I was certified in 1987.

When I went to the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, I came across this booth selling rings from the Rally, so I definitely got one to commemorate my experience there.

My Sturgis ring reminds me of some good times I had there.

Quite impressive when lined up side by side, if I do say so myself, lol. These rings represent lots of long, hot days on your feet all day. Also, lots of great friends and fond memories. And don’t forget all of the laughs I had along the way.

I have some other rings in my collection, but these are my favorites.

I hope you’ve enjoyed looking at my rings and reading about them.

That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

IndyCar 101: The Indy 500

Posted by Spider Michaels on March 18, 2020

Posted in: #CharlotteMotorSpeedway, #DaytonaInternationalSpeedway, #Indy500, #motorsport, #TexasMotorSpeedway, Autoracing, Cool Things, Entertainment, Indy 500, IndyCar, Motorsports, NASCAR, NHRA, Racing, Special Events, Sports, Travel. Tagged: Autoracing, Indianapolis, Indianapolis 500, Indy 500, Memorial Day, Motorsports, Race cars, Racing. Leave a comment

The Indianapolis 500 is called ‘The Great American Race’. Most people just say Indy 500.

I’d like to start off by showing you some before and after photos from our suite.

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Now I’ll show you around the area right near the track.

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On the side of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is a street with many vendors set up on it.

Even though there was traffic, people just walked in the street.

You can rent scanners to listen to the race while you are in the bleachers.

There’s plenty of souvenir stands to get your fill of race memorabilia.

I was invited into a guy’s house near this street and he had more racing memorabilia than I had ever seen.

I always enjoyed ‘People Watching’ in these areas. Man, you could see some sights.

See what I mean, lol.

You could also see fun loving girls. Look where her right hand is.

One year I was assigned to work with all of these models giving away free stuff at the entrance gates to the race. It was a fun day.

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VIP guests who were invited to the race would get a Gift Basket waiting for them in their hotel rooms.

On Saturday night, before the race, the guests are invited to a dinner at the race teams’ shop.

They would receive gifts here as well. Here they get a miniature race car like the team’s real one.

A race simulator would be set up for the guests to try their hand at racing. They loved this.

The driver would make an appearance and speak about the upcoming race the next day.

After the dinner, the guests would get another gift in their hotel room waiting for them with a reminder of when the buses were leaving the next morning for the race.

When they arrived at the track race day morning, they would enter a nice VIP suite just for them.

They would check in and receive a race hat and other nice gifts.

Food and drinks are served all during the race.

The VIP guests can come into the air conditioning during the race and watch it on TV’s in the suite if they get too hot outside.

Here’s a view of the track, on race day morning, from the suite for VIP guests. I would always arrive early and just walk around or chill in our suite and have breakfast before my day started.

It was a ‘no stress’ start to a busy day, instead of getting stuck in traffic for hours just to get to the track.

About 6 hours later it looks like this.

Here’s the view in the other direction.

The track is 2 1/2 miles long and can handle over 250,000 in the seating and with the infield fans it grows to about 300,000 people inside the track for the race.

On race day morning, the teams work diligently preparing their cars.

Three drivers have won the Indianapolis 500 four times each:
A.J. Foyt (1961, 1964, 1967, 1977)
Al Unser (1970, 1971, 1978, 1987)
Rick Mears (1979, 1984, 1988, 1991)

The youngest driver to win the Indy 500 was Troy Ruttman, who was 22 years, 80 days old when he won the 36th Indianapolis 500 on May 30, 1952. The oldest winner of the Indianapolis 500 is Al Unser, who was 47 years, 360 days old when he won the 71st Indianapolis 500 on May 24, 1987.

The fastest speed at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is 237.498 mph by Arie Luyendyk during qualifying May 12, 1996.

Luyendyk turned a lap of 239.260 during practice May 10, 1996. It was the fastest unofficial lap ever at the Speedway, as practice laps are not official.

Seven women have started the Indy 500, but Janet Guthrie (1977) was the first, qualifying 26th and finishing 29th.

An IndyCar Series car could run upside down. It generates 5,000 pounds of downforce when going 220 mph. Since the cars weigh only 1,575 pounds, this amount of downforce would, in fact, allow the car to run upside down on the ceiling if that speed is maintained, according to the IndyCar people.

The cars’ tires are marked with white chalk so the pit crew members know where the tires go on the car.

This helps them put the Left Front tire in the right location on the car, as well as the Right Front, Left Rear and Right Rear.

The race is 200 laps over a 2.5-mile circuit. This totals 500 miles, hence the name – the Indy 500.

Two drivers lost the lead on the 199th lap — Robby Gordon in 1999 and Marco Andretti in 2006.

On race day morning, local schools and organizations parade around the track for the early bird fans. Many don’t get to see this because they are stuck in traffic for hours just trying to get parked.

On race day, fans will consume 24,000 pounds of track fries. And if all of the hot dogs and bratwurst sold on race day were laid end to end, they would circle the 2 1/2 mile track more than three times.

It’s been said that Yankee Stadium, the Rose Bowl, Churchill Downs, the Colosseum in Rome and Vatican City all can fit inside the Indy oval (253 acres).

The Purdue band is a tradition of the Indy 500.

After inspection, the teams bring the race cars out to their pit area and continue to fine tune them.

The Pit Crews practice pit stops all morning long on Race Day.

Sometimes they will let a VIP sit in the car while they practice. They love it.

While the team prepares the car and practices, the driver conducts interviews for the media. This is a full time job for them.

Prior to race day, the driver and team take promotional Press Photos with the race car.

This is one of the few times that the team is photographed. Usually it’s just the driver.

Celebrities will ride around the track and wave to the fans. This is Patrick Dempsey from the successful TV show Grey’s Anatomy. He was recently killed off from that show.

Later, the teams will position the race car on the track in their starting positions.

You’ll see models posing for pictures before the race.

It’s one of the benefits of getting to the track early.

They look good coming…

And going, lol.

I always tried to get a photo with the track mascot, Firehawk.

I worked with Bart Conner, the Olympic Gold Medalist. He and I were with the Pennzoil Panther Racing team; so was Jim Harbaugh, the Michigan Head Coach now.

I told you there were benefits to getting up early.

Here I am with Rupert from the TV show Survivor. He’s from Indy so he’s always at the race.

I’ve run into Linda Vaughn at a lot of races. She’s famous for being a well known Racing model in her day.

Even The Donald made an appearance at the 500.

Here’s the trophy. When it was first made it cost $10,000, now it’s worth over one million dollars.

Here’s my picture from the museum that is on the property. It’s the first car to ever win the Indy 500.

The bright-yellow, wasp-tailed racer won at an average speed of 74.6 mph. The driver was Ray Harroun, and the year was 1911. The luminous yellow car made it onto a commemorative U.S. Postal Service stamp in 2011 for the centennial.

The Pagoda is a very cool building right at the Start / Finish line.

The view from this building must be fantastic.

Here are the Harrah’s Casino models.

And here are the Trim Spa models.

The State Troopers were happy to be at the race.

The Indianapolis Motor Speedway is also called ‘The Brickyard”. The “Brickyard” gets its’ name from the 1909 surfacing project when 3.2 million street paving bricks were laid for the racing surface. On the current asphalt track, one yard of the historic brickwork is exposed at the start-finish line.

I always tried to get a photo with our race car before the race. I’m posing by that famous yard of bricks.

It’s these famous bricks that the winning driver kisses after victory.

The track turns into a madhouse prior to the start of the race. Fans crowd in to get a view of the drivers when they come out.

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You can see what I’m saying in this picture. The drivers have to go through a sea of people to get to their cars.

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Before the race starts, the drivers line up and get introduced to the fans.

Here’s Jim Harbaugh, like I said earlier. He’s a very cool guy.

After driver introductions, the drivers go to their cars and begin getting ready to race.

After their helmet and gloves are on, they squeeze into their cars. It’s a snug fit.

You can see why so many drivers survive those high speed crashes because not much is sticking out of the car; just the top of the helmet.

I always liked seeing the paint schemes on the helmets.

After the driver is strapped in, there’s a few minutes for a last little meeting before the start of the race.

Once the race track is cleared of people, the race gets underway to the thrill of the crowd.

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The pit crews patiently wait for the opportunity to do their jobs.

A bad pit stop can lose a race. A good pit stop can win a race also.

In NASCAR, the car is lifted one side at a time. The right side tires are changed first, then the Jack man brings the jack around and lifts the left side, so those tires can be changed.

In IndyCar, the race car is lifted from underneath, in the center, so that all four tires are off of the ground at the same time. This allows the Pit Crew to change all four tires at once, as you can see in the photo below.

After a crash, there’s not much left to these race cars. Just trash to be hauled away.

Most times, the drivers just walk away from these crashes because the cars are so safe now days, but fourteen drivers have been killed in the past as the result of accidents during the race, including Bill Vukovich in 1955, who was trying for his third straight victory.

After pit stops and crashes, the race continues on for 500 miles.

Finally, the checkered flag waves to signal the end of the race and to announce the race winner.

The winning team head to Victory Lane to celebrate.

The driver gets a wreath around his neck and is photographed by everybody.

This driver has his family with him. What good memories his kids will have of the Indy 500.

After the driver makes a victory lap to wave to the fans, he comes back to the Start / Finish line where all of the photographers are waiting of him.

He then kisses the famous bricks of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

I’m right in the middle of this photo in the red shirt. This picture was the centerfold shot in ESPN the Magazine. I thought this was pretty cool so I bought some extra copies for posterity.

Most times, the driver will climb the fence and the fans go crazy. Here, the winner and his teammate do it together.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about the famous Indy 500.

It’s way more exciting to see it personally than it is to watch it on TV, so if you ever get the chance to go, do it!

The photo below is of the Rings of my Career.

College Graduate, Lifeguard Champion, NASCAR Championship Team Ring, Brickyard 400 Winner Team Ring and IndyCar Championship Team Ring.

I was fortunate to get a NASCAR Championship Ring for my work on Jeff Gordon’s team and also a Championship Ring for my work in IndyCar with Sam Hornish, Jr. Not many in Racing can say that. I’m probably the only Banner Boy with rings from both Major Racing Series, lol.

I hope you’ve enjoyed seeing a little of what the Indy 500 is all about.

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That completes this IndyCar 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

IndyCar 101: The Campground

Posted by Spider Michaels on March 16, 2020

Posted in: #CharlotteMotorSpeedway, #DaytonaInternationalSpeedway, #Indy500, #motorsport, #TexasMotorSpeedway, Autoracing, Cool Things, Entertainment, Houston, Indy 500, IndyCar, Life, Motorsports, NASCAR, NHRA, Racing, Sports, Travel, Uncategorized. Tagged: #car, #motorsport, #racecar, Cars, IndyCar, Motorsports, NASCAR, NHRA, Racing. Leave a comment

Of the many things I did in motorsports, one of the most fun was being a Banner Boy. I coined that name. I even developed a cartoon strip to chronicle the adventures of Banner Boy & the Cable Tie Kid, lol.

Every company in racing has several Banner Boys. All of us would prepare our hundreds of Banners ahead of time for race day morning.

Some got on the road at about 5am or 6am. They were too late. I had started at 3am on almost all the days that I hung Banners, as we called it. The Banner Boys would load their vans or trucks with all of these Banners and start driving towards the race track.

Then, every so often, we’d stop, get out, put up some Banners, drive a little, stop and do it again. The location dictated how many Banners you could put up. If you came across a nice fence, that was great.

I’ve been out in the dark, with a head light to see by. The head light that fits on your forehead with an elastic band. Try pounding stakes in the dark and the cold sometimes, with your light shaking with every blow. Sometimes you hit the stake, and sometimes not.

In my years as a Banner Boy, I’ve hung banners on chain link fences, wood fences, wooden stakes, metal poles, buildings, on the way to the track, at the track, restaurants, Driver appearances, contests, Winner’s Circle, Victory Lane and everywhere in between.

I only made the mistake once of drinking the night before Banner Day aka Race Day. I was in Dallas and that was a long road to the track. I had lots of banners, stakes, mallet, cable ties, staple gun and some duct tape loaded in the rental truck.

I was ready for Sunday morning, so I went to the hotel bar and hung out for a bit. At 3am I was still sitting in the bar drinking. I can still remember the guy’s name my sister and I were hanging out with… Myles, from GMAC I think.

The irony is that we were making all kinds of jokes up for the adventures of Banner Boy & the Cable Tie Kid. We laughed all night.

At 3am, I showered, dressed and left to Banner the route to the track. I was by myself this time. I would have loved to have had help, especially in my state.

That day, at the Texas NASCAR race, I had to work another 17 hour day. I was so tired when I got back to the hotel. I swore that I would never drink on Banner Day’s Eve again, lol.

And if I ever see Myles again, I’m going to kick him in his ass for getting me drunk the night before a big day for me.

As I said earlier, I was an early riser. I usually had Bannered all of the good spots along the route to the track by the time the other companies were just starting.

Then the race fans, tens of thousands, would drive by and see my Banners. I know the other Banner Boys were pissed to see my Banners in all of the good spots.

It was always a great feeling when my superiors came up to me and mentioned how well I had Bannered the route. After Bannering, I’d be at the track early, get my coffee and walk around, watching this very epic and exciting day unfold.

It was an unwritten rule that you never took another companies Banners down to put yours up. Now as far as the race fans, they take anything.

Here is the definition of Futile… I’m putting up Banners on the way to the track early in the morning. As I’m working, something catches my eye, so I look over to see race fans 100 yards away taking the Banners I just hung.

The morning of the race, traffic gets backed up terribly in some cities. The Texas NASCAR race is like that. So, race fans are in stand still traffic, trying to get to the race. They’re stuck in their car, sitting still.

They look over and see Banners on the fences, so they hop out and go cut them down. This is the bane of a Banner Boy’s existence.

Banner Boy & the Cable Tie Kid have many ‘run ins’ with race fans over stealing Banners. Banner Boy takes Banner Thievery very seriously, as do I.

Race fans can get someone fired. Say they take all of the Banners along the route to the track and even at the track. What will happen to that Banner Boy when his boss doesn’t see but 2 Banners along the whole route.

I enjoyed Bannering. It’s one of the first things I did when I started out in motorsports. There’s something to be said for a sense of accomplishment and with Bannering, you had that. You could physically, see what you had just done.

Get a photo to show your boss because the race fans are coming, lol.

At the Indy 500, I had a great assignment. Go to the campground and hand out free racing Banners to wild and crazy race fans. I loved it.

As you can see, Pennzoil was one of the companies I represented.

The second we would pull up, they’d come get the freebies to decorate their campsites.

One time, we were at the airport with hundreds of Banners in the back of the minivan. Then we had a flat. A nice Indy cop let us change the tire there in the pick up lanes.

The really suck part about it was that the jack and spare tire were in the floor panel, under hundreds of Banners. We had to unload on the sidewalk, right in the middle of the airport, on Indy 500 weekend, to get the job done.

Imagine, a pile of bright yellow Banners, hundreds of them, in a large pile in the very busy Indy Airport pick up lanes. Our minivan was parked next to a sidewalk, thankfully. So we were able to unload onto the sidewalk.

Just think if we weren’t near the sidewalk. I guess drive that bitch until the wheel comes off or you get somewhere that we could change it.

Every year, I met lots of people. And every year we were offered beers. Usually, I never took a drink, but when we were offered Bloody Mary’s, I accepted. They were great.

We’d open the side door of the van, for easy access to the Banners, then just drive around the campground, giving away promotional materials.

I say promo materials because on occasion we had Pennant Rope to accompany the Banners, as well as Decals, at times.

It’s like Xmas for race fans when you give away cool promotional items.

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This is a nice photo because you can see the famous Indianapolis Motor Speedway in the background.

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In this next pic, you can see the Pennzoil Pennant Rope I handed out the previous year.

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If I ever made some ContraGear Racing Banners, I’d personally give them out at this campground. They’d go crazy for my Banners.

I’ve been noticing things and doing a little research. The following photos are from all over the country. And these are just the ones I saw. How many more are out there?

This Pirate Flag doesn’t stand out like the first one, but it’s still noticeable.

Number three is very easy to see.

The fourth flag stands out quite nicely. When you’re photographing a moving flag, you never know what you will get.

There are so many Jolly Roger’s out there, it would be impossible to know for sure how many ‘New Age Pirates’ are out there. If I only had a way to get all of these Pirate fans to check out my sites and logos.

If you haven’t heard of a ‘New Age’ Pirate, that’s because I coined the phrase to help define an attitude that some have about life… and death in the 21st century.

It stands out when it’s by itself.

A little hard to see, but it’s there.

Maybe one day, they’ll be flyin’ my flags.

Even the smaller tents have Pirates in them.

Talking about Pirate Flags and Banners started me thinking. I just took a coffee break and designed a pretty good Banner for the race fans.

The logo is cool. The lettering matches the skull logo. It has the all important word Racing. But notice mine has the word Team added.

You never see companies making Banners that say Racing Team. I’d bet a lot of money that if you gave a racing fan the option of any other company’s Banner or mine.

Well, you just might lose big. If it’s one thing I know, it’s what racing fans like. I made this Banner in about 20 minutes. And most of that was shopping online for some new fonts.

This old bus wouldn’t look as nice without the racing Banners and Pennant Rope. They look like true race fans. And you’d be surprised at this.

If a company doesn’t put the word Racing on their Banners, the race fans won’t want them as much as a Racing Banner.

What is a campsite without a comfy old couch? I almost wrote sofa, but that is definitely a couch, lol.

Couch: Check. Beer: Check. Race Tickets: Check. Shirt: Nope.

Cool way to get around all the ‘goings on’.

I always tried to get good group photos for two reasons. One, we used the photos in our ‘After Event Reports’ to corporate, to show them what we were doing in the field and how we were promoting their brand and products.

Two, was that I’ve had my websites for years now and I always handed out a card with my website on it. A few days after the race, they could visit my site and download their photo for free. I was the only Banner Boy offering that service.

So when you look at these next photos, think about me getting the photo right so they’d have a good memory of their race weekend. All of the people came to my site and got their pics. I imagine some got framed and are in the living room somewhere.

Even the ladies got into the Banner Battles.

Sitting around your campsite with family and good friends, drinking while you wait for the Greatest American Race. Not a bad way to pass the time.

Yo whaddup?

As a Banner Boy, part of your job description is pulling practical jokes. Or at least that’s what I thought, lol.

My cohort and I used to pull a great trick on the girls that worked with us. Somehow, we got the keys to their vehicle, most times a van. A van made it easy to get their keys because we always said we had to go load the van with race day supplies.

Johnny and I would take some baby powder and straws to their vehicle. Then, we would load up the air vents, using the straws, to put baby powder in these AC vents.

You turn the AC controls to high, so the next morning, the girls get in, start the van, the AC kicks in on high, and the girls get covered with white powder. Man would they get pissed every time they fell for it.

This next pic makes me laugh. The guy taking a drink of his beer just as the photo was taken, in particular.

He had a checklist for Race Day. Wear a NASCAR shirt to the Indy 500. Check. Get a photo of me drinking my beer. Check.

These next people had the right idea. Party in the shade.

These people definitely liked this photo.

And these guys weren’t having any fun at all, lol. One guy asked if he could take his dick out.

This is a great picture.

While working on this post, I’m missing racing, then I think of the constant traveling, long hours and how it wears you down. I’d love to go back to this campground area again. It’s just as fun for the NASCAR Brickyard 400.

I made it possible for all of these race fans and many more, all across this country, to get fun photos from the races they attended. You know, I never got one single email. Not a single thank you or even bitching about the pic.

I guess they were pleased. Believe me, these days, people bitch at the drop of a hat.

Everybody wants to raise their shirt or show me their garnubles and batons.

Pay close attention to that particular banner. It almost got me fired, lol.

You definitely notice all different levels of camping when you go to the campground. Some have good set ups, while others are ‘roughing it’ a bit more.

You will see most anything and everything at the campground.

Notice this year of bannering, they took the word Racing off of their banners. People still wanted them, but just the word Racing makes it that much cooler.

This guy had a motorized recliner to cruise around on.

I had some beers with these guys. This was his imitation of a driver in turn 4.

This was one of my favorite photos from handing out Banners.

Hey, fix that banner, bunch of slackers, lol.

How would that picture look if they were standing next to three ContraGear Banners?

Even the guys wanted to show me tit.

Hold on there.

Watch out, now.

Banner Boy has fans countrywide. They love to dress up, with the trademark Banner cape, to look like Banner Boy, lol.

That’s me helping Banner a wire. Again, the word Racing makes them look so much better.

These would be taken overnight by someone from the campground across the street if they had Racing on them.

That’s bad for the company who buys them because they’re not up very long if they’re cool Banners. But that company’s Banners are hung up in garages, businesses, man caves, etc. all over the country.

Here I am arranging a group photo.

I think it came out great. I know they loved this pic.

Aw hell, sumbody done done it.

And then they doubled down.

And it’s not even Mardi Gras, lol.

Okay, now here’s where I begin to sweat. I had brought my photographer friend to Indy with me to cover the weekend in photos.

And yes, that’s a dildo. Notice the cardboard sign says, ‘Chicks Ride Free’.

Now is when I was sure I was getting fired. These girls starting showing everything, the crowd was snapping photos and all right in front of my Banners.

At this point, I know I’m going to be working on my resume. Look at this next photo real well.

Yep, that’s a Beer Bong through her legs. That banner was placed so well and here it is, the reason I get shit canned.

And my photographer friend was snapping away with his camera, along with a large crowd of race fans, doing the same thing.

I was worried about nothing. Nothing came up, so I guess it was a case of race fans doing what race fans do, have unadulterated fun.

I think she lost a contact.

Well, that was a look at the wild campground next to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.

I also promoted my company when I was talking to all of those race fans.

I hope you were entertained while reading on this article. You see, even Banner Boys get to pose with the trophy, lol.

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Until next time, be safe and have a chill day.

That completes this IndyCar 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

NASCAR 101: The Infield

Posted by Spider Michaels on March 15, 2020

Posted in: Cool Things, Indy 500, NASCAR, Travel, Uncategorized. Tagged: #CharlotteMotorSpeedway, #DaytonaInternationalSpeedway, #Indy500, #motorsport, #TexasMotorSpeedway, Autoracing, IndyCar, NASCAR, NHRA, Racing. Leave a comment

In this NASCAR 101 Course, we’ll take a trip through a NASCAR Infield to see what we can see. And you will see how hard it is to get drunk NASCAR fans to wave on the count of three. It’s not as easy as you think.

First, as I said, they’re drunk. Or at least been drinking a lot.

And Second, you’re in the Infield and the noise is loud. Ever try yelling over race cars?

The following photos show you how much fun a race fan can have while at a NASCAR race. These pix were taken at Texas Motor Speedway, so thanx to the Texans, who always show up big.

Companies in Racing, spend tens of millions of dollars to promote their particular product or services.

One of the multitude of things they spend money on is Bannering. They hand out thousands of Banners each year.

When a Race Fan is lucky enough to get a cool one, they hang on to it and use it at every race for decorations of their camps.

If it’s one thing NASCAR fans are, it’s Patriotic. Their blood runs Red, White and Blue.

Notice they’re using some of the Pennant Rope I gave out.

Do you think they were Dale Jr. fans? Still are, even though he’s no longer racing. Across the country, there were quite a few fans who painted their buses in Tribute to Dale Earnhardt, Jr. This was one of the finest I ever came across.

The most important thing about this design? A secure railing. I think it needs more rails before I’d drink up there and try to sit down.

I’ve thought for a long time, that NASCAR has surpassed Baseball as America’s Pastime. Get on that.

This is one of the funniest I’ve seen. Oh and, don’t ask this type to wave. You’re wasting your time.

The best ones always get 2 shots of it.

Here’s another one that I wouldn’t personally get on top off. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t like hospital trips while I’m gettin’ my NASCAR on.

Fonzie’s cousin loves racing.

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Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but there’s quite a few campers or platforms that I wouldn’t get on top off.

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This is a high dollar Banner. It’s a good color, it’s Budweiser so it’s cool because of that, it’s got a great logo of a gold crown, it says Racing and it’s a Welcome Race Fans Banner. Budweiser gets a Passing Grade for this Banner.

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Now here’s what I’ve been doing. I yell up my intentions of getting a photo when they cheer.

Some hear me, some don’t. If you are a shy person and can’t talk to strangers, much less yell up to 20 or 30 of them, then Motorsports isn’t for you.

10D

It’s a good feeling when it pays off.

These next 2 photos are of Banners I passed out in previous years.

Good Banners have a long life. And if they’re great Banners, they’ll last a long time or until they’re stolen.

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These 2 groups had a nice set-up.

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They had a good system working. Since there is no way they could ever get a Liquor License, they just gave the beers and drinks away. The catch, people were tipping them $3.00 for a beer and $5.00 for a mixed drink.

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I love when campers use a lot of Flags. It really makes it feel like an Event.

This was a nice set-up. Two Motorhomes for sleeping and getting out of the heat and a great Partying area out front. Considering this and the Flags, they get a high mark for this camp.

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If you decide to camp out in the infield of any track across the country, be prepared to know your neighbor quite well. The camps can be close at times.

But you can have a pool… until Ernie pees in it again, lol.

Some like the ‘Comforts of Home’. Why not bring your living room to the track? Great for chillin’.

But when you have gas, they make you sit over here.

Don’t come a knockin’ if the camper is rockin’.

You could meet Bo Derek in the Infield.

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I got a nice shot of these gals with a great background of the Tower, the Flag and the crowded seats.

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Then they asked for a ‘Close Up’. I like their choice better.

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The reason NASCAR and the companies associated with it love Race Fans is because they spend money. With their jackets, hats, shirts and whatever is in their bags, they are carrying close to $2,000 worth of Racing Gear.

I’m always happy to see servicemen and servicewomen enjoying some valuable time off from protecting this Great Nation.

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I like that they bring guns for their presentation to the audience.

24B

That truck has been autographed a couple of times.

24C

It’s funny because Jeff Gordon never drove the truck in the Truck Series.

He was more than proud to turn his head to the side so I could get a good shot of the truck.

I count 8 people on this golf cart. Tough number to beat.

Where else can you wear a Beer Hat and no one takes a second look.

" "

Dale Earnhardt, Sr. was a great driver that is tied for all time championships with Richard Petty and Jimmie Johnson. All three have 7 titles.

Dale was killed in a terrible crash at the Daytona 500. Millions of Race Fans mourned that day.

To this day, fans pay tribute to Dale, ‘The Intimidator’ Earnhardt. He drove a black car and was NASCAR’s ‘Man in Black’.

These next few photos are of some people’s tribute to #3, Dale Earnhardt.

Cooking in the front.

Wood in the back.

This is a Volkswagen ‘Thing’. I shit you not. And what’s worse is it came factory orange, not kidding. This is absolutely the coolest Thing I’ve ever seen.

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This is a very cool hood.

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Here is the side of it.

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Notice the #3 on the rear Quarter Panel for Dale and the #8, for Dale Jr., on the back seat.

You can’t miss his #3 for sure. The side of the car has a #20 for Tony Stewart, another driver.

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This Jeep is one of the best vehicles I’ve ever seen at a track. What a cool way to get around. This is my Fantasy Car.

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Here’s a pretty good way to Drink & Ride while in the Infield. Plus, he’s wearing Mardi Gras beads and flashing me the ‘Rock n Roll’ sign.

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And no, those aren’t sodas in those cans. It’s got to be a pretty laid back atmosphere in the Infield when you can go get ice while drinking your beers.

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You didn’t think I was going to leave without a pic with the Thing, did you?-

" "

That completes this NASCAR 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

NHRA 101: Funny Car

Posted by Spider Michaels on March 15, 2020

Posted in: Travel. Tagged: Autoracing, Drag Racing, Motorsports, NHRA, Racing, Tony Pedregon. Leave a comment

NHRA stands for National Hot Rod Association. Funny Car is one of the divisions of racing that occurs at a National event drag race.

When this race car first came out, someone said “that’s a funny looking car”. It’s been called Funny Car ever since.

We’ll start at the beginning, so let’s talk a little bit about the race team.

Each team has a hauler that carries the race cars and equipment from track to track.

There’s two race cars in the top of each hauler and a lot of extra parts for emergency repairs in case of trouble or breakage.

When the team has their pit set up, they take out the Primary race car. The Back Up race car only comes out if the Primary is wrecked or damaged.

They then begin preparing the car to race.

A race car driver is always busy while at the track. He’s either racing, talking with his team about racing or interacting with the race fans.

Tony Pedregon is one of best drivers when it comes to his fans. They love him and he them.

A race car driver must do a certain amount of promotional work for the products of the company paying him to race.

The next 4 photos are from a photoshoot we did in Vegas.

Some people may think it’s glamorous work but when all you want to do is go race, it can be tedious stuff.

But if you don’t make the sponsor happy you don’t get the big check to cover your racing expenses.

Companies spend millions of dollars in sponsorship and they expect to get something in return.

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Now let’s talk a little bit about the race car.

The shell of a Funny Car is just that… a shell. It’s made of light weight material called carbon-fiber and basically just covers the chassis and engine.

It provides an aerodynamic package to the race car so that the wind will pass around it and it will help the car stay on the track and get traction, thus going faster.

Also, it provides a place for companies to put their logo’s.

The rear tires on a Funny Car only last about 4 to 6 trips down the quarter mile race track.

That’s about 2 miles per set of tires. Some regular car tires can go 80,000 miles before needing to replace them.

The NHRA Funny car generates 7,000 horsepower and can go down the quarter mile in 4.6 seconds at 330 miles per hour.

A Funny Car can travel the length of more than 4 football fields in less than 5 seconds.

Funny cars use Nitromethane for fuel. It’s very strong smelling and costs about $16 a gallon. You can see the team wears gas masks when the engine is running in the pit area.

Nitromethane is called “Nitro” and is the result of a chemical reaction between nitric acid and propane. Top Fuel Dragsters use it too.

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It takes years of experience and knowledge to work on any of the top categories in the NHRA.

A lot of the Pros started off in Grass Roots Racing and worked their way up through the ranks.

Each Crew member has a particular job that they perform several times a day at a drag race.

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Again, you need years of experience to get a job on one of these teams.

These days, there’s lots of automotive schools that offer classes, but none where you can go from the classroom to a Pit Area of a Pro NHRA driver.

Notice that the Quaker State is on the back so fans can see it while they work.

Here’s a great shot of the QS logo on their crew shirts.

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NHRA fans would love to have the view of the team working like I had this day.

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Companies love photos like this, where their logo is prominently displayed.

When the teams are almost ready to go race again, they will run their engines to check them out. The race fans love this and rush up to see.

Then they get a throat full of Nitro fumes and back off pretty quick.

Then there are the fans that bring their own gas masks to enjoy upfront viewing of the Pit Areas while the cars are running.

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I mentioned that a Funny car generates 7,000 horsepower. That’s about 37 times that of the average street car.

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While the team works, the corporate guests eat, drink and socialize while they watch the team work on the car.

It’s a great way to enjoy a day at the races. It’s much better to be an invited guest to a hospitality area than just to go to the races on your own.

When the drivers come to sign autographs, the line can get pretty long.

At every race, there is always plenty of fire and safety personnel and vehicles. Drag racing can be a deadly sport and has been so before.

When the driver gets ready to race, a team member will help him suit up in his custom made fire suit.

He then gets in the car and the team straps him in.

The air pressure in the tires is so critical that the teams use a white cover to protect the tires from the sun. The sun can heat up the tires and cause the air pressure inside to change, thus affecting how the car performs on the track.

Here’s what a drag strip look like. The race track is a quarter mile long, then there is room to stop. If you have problems stopping, there is a sand pit at the very end. Sometimes that wasn’t enough and drivers have died.

This red building is called the Tower. It’s also called the Suites because corporations lease Suites to entertain their guests here if they don’t want to use a Hospitality tent next to the teams pit area.

The suites are nice because they are air conditioned but you don’t get the feel of a race like you do in the pit area.

Companies also pay big bucks to have their signage on the front of the suites. This is a good location for their logo’s because the TV cameras always catch them when they are filming the racing.

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Notice the signage painted on the track. O’Reilly Auto Parts was a big sponsor at this time.

A drag race can have over 100,000 in attendance for a weekend race.

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Before every race starts, the military has some role in the opening ceremonies.

When a racer is getting ready to race, he gets his tires wet and does a burn out.

This lays down a layer of hot sticky rubber from his tires onto the track.

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He will then back up in the same line he just did the burn out and hopefully race right over the sticky rubber he just put on the track.

This gives him better traction and hopefully he can go faster.

After the burn out, the team checks the car one last time before racing.

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A team member will guide the driver up to the two sets of light beams going across the track.

The driver then eases up until the front of his car breaks both sets of beams and his two sets of lights are on, signaling the starter that he is ready to race.

Once both drivers are lined up exactly even, the starter activates the Christmas Tree (a set of lights that light up to start the race) and the lights flash.

When the lights go from yellow to green, the drivers take off for the ride of their lives.

Just imagine going 330 mph in 4.6 seconds. What a rush that must be.

If you win 4 rounds of racing on Sunday, you win your category for that event.

Then you get a trophy and pose for a picture in the National Dragster Magazine.

I’d like to thank Tony Pedregon and his team for allowing me access to their Pit Area and team.

I like drag racing because the drivers are all so nice and personable. The NHRA is the most Fan Friendly Racing there is.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about an NHRA Funny Car.

That completes this NHRA 101 Course. Give yourself 3 Credits towards Graduation. Congratulations on your Quest for a Degree from The Universite de Arachnida.

Diploma Master 0

To see other course requirements for your degree, see next link.

Motorsports Degree Requirements

Any questions and/or comments may be directed to the following:

Dr. Spider Michaels, Phd.

https://SpiderMichaels.com

Spider@SpiderMichaels.com

Spider Michaels

Just some dude.

Racing

All posts tagged Racing

NASCAR 101: A NASCAR Poem

NASCAR 101: Ring Collection

IndyCar 101: The Indy 500

IndyCar 101: The Campground

NASCAR 101: The Infield

NHRA 101: Funny Car

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